Expat

Scratch by gringohomechile

My bleary eyes can barely read the message on my computer screen – I haven’t had my first (of the eventual four) cup of coffee yet – but I can already tell it’s not good. I swing my now toddler-sized baby from my right to left hip and scroll down to find more bad news; the municipality inspector who came out to view our property yesterday has said there really is no way to legalize our Chilean home, a crushing realization that puts the final nail in the coffin on a dream we thought would equate with monetary compensation, if we chose to sell rather than stay. Shit. After being up all night with my teething daughter, I don’t even have the words to respond.

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Equinox by gringohomechile

I raced home quickly today to write this down. Usually my runs turn into walks by the end but today I felt like I had uncorked something and the sentences wouldn’t stop flowing. By the time I reached my computer though, a slamming door waking the baby and my worn-out mind threatened my writing aspirations and as per usual, the ‘genius’ I felt running to my mix of Rihanna and Coldplay fell flat.

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The End (A Beginning) by gringohomechile

I've wanted to write so many times over the past couple of months but have had neither the time nor the energy. I honestly can’t find time to do the dishes (ah, how I long for a dishwasher) so blogging has fallen way down on my list of priorities, right below ‘keeping up personal appearance’ and ‘maintaining contact with other humans.' Anyways, I’ve always tried to use this blog as a space to be honest about our lives here and I haven’t wanted to be a phony by writing half-truths, so I decided to keep quiet on all subjects until some decisions had been officially made.

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The Story by gringohomechile

We all piled into my midwife’s car and my husband followed in ours. I was basically 10 cm at this point, having intense, almost pushing contractions, speeding down miles of incredibly bumpy dirt roads. When we finally got into Valparaiso I remember looking at all of the college students coming out of the clubs and bars on Errazuriz street, feeling very strange that something so life-changing was happening to me while these kids stood five feet away, going about the very normal business of having a good time. It was surreal because I knew I most likely wouldn’t be them ever again, at least not in the same way.

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The Last Days by gringohomechile

I feel like I'm caught in limbo between an old life and a new one I know nothing about. I feel like I'm saying goodbye to someone, to the 'pre-mother me' and I guess that makes me nostalgic and a little sad. I keep thinking of all the things I may never do again - staying up all night in a strange city with new people, spontaneously taking a trip (spontaneously doing anything...), smoking a cigarette in a car with the windows down and the music blasting with my best friend. 

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