motherhood

To My Little Girl On the Occasion of Her First Birthday by gringohomechile

Today is the anniversary of when I went into labor with you. Last year I stared up at the moon and asked you to make your appearance. As I walked inside, my water broke. On the day you were born I sat on stairs outside of the hospital with a friend who had come to visit; I had left you with my mom inside and for the first time since I had discovered I was pregnant, I was alone. Valparaiso smoldered around us – the fire that had started the day prior was the largest in the city’s history and I was a new mother, heavy with the realization that I would never really be alone again.

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The Last Days by gringohomechile

I feel like I'm caught in limbo between an old life and a new one I know nothing about. I feel like I'm saying goodbye to someone, to the 'pre-mother me' and I guess that makes me nostalgic and a little sad. I keep thinking of all the things I may never do again - staying up all night in a strange city with new people, spontaneously taking a trip (spontaneously doing anything...), smoking a cigarette in a car with the windows down and the music blasting with my best friend. 

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